The Joy of Doing Things Badly
After 50, we often feel pressure to keep everything together — to stay competent, productive, in control. But what if true wellbeing comes from letting go of all that? In this week’s Reset Diary, Patrick Kirby reflects on how rediscovering the joy of imperfection became one of his most liberating lessons.
The Myth of “Doing It Properly”
For most of my adult life, I believed that if you were going to do something, you had to do it properly. Excellence, effort, results — that was the motto. Anything less felt like failure.
That mindset served me well at work, but somewhere along the line, it seeped into everything else — hobbies, exercise, even relaxation. If I wasn’t improving or producing, I felt I was wasting time.
Then, sometime after 50 — during what I now call my personal “reset” — I realised how much joy I’d been missing by trying too hard to get everything right.
The Day I Let Go of “Perfect”
It started with a guitar. Or rather, the dusty one that had sat in the corner of the room for years. I picked it up one quiet evening, tuned it badly, and strummed even worse.
But there it was — that flicker of joy. Not because I was any good, but because I was doing something just for the sake of it.
The first time I tried painting again, the result looked like a weather forecast gone wrong — clouds everywhere, no sense of direction. But for half an hour, I was absorbed. My breathing slowed, my phone lay forgotten. It was, I realised later, a kind of mindfulness — with mess.
The Over-50s Trap: Competence Over Curiosity
Somewhere past midlife, we start believing that if we haven’t mastered something by now, there’s no point starting. We default to what we know, what we’re good at, what feels safe.
But that’s exactly when we need to start doing things badly again.
When we try something new — and fumble through it — the brain wakes up. Neuroplasticity, they call it. I call it feeling alive.
Whether it’s dancing in the kitchen, joining a choir, or planting tomatoes in uneven rows, it’s the trying that resets us.
We’ve spent decades being competent. Responsible. Efficient. Maybe now it’s time to be curious instead.
“Perfection can be a cage — and life after 50 is far too precious to live behind bars made of self-criticism.”
Resetting Through Imperfection
At The Reset Magazine, we talk a lot about reclaiming wellbeing — not through rigid routines or impossible standards, but through small, human acts of self-kindness.
Doing things badly fits perfectly into that philosophy. It’s the antidote to pressure. The reminder that joy doesn’t come from performance — it comes from participation.
When I first started stretching again, I couldn’t touch my toes. My “downward dog” looked more like a reluctant Labrador. But each wobbly attempt made me laugh — and that laughter did more for my wellbeing than any perfect posture ever could.
The Freedom to Be Awful
Now, I build “doing things badly” into my week on purpose. A dodgy sketch. A half-baked recipe. A walk where I take the wrong turn deliberately.
It’s liberating. It’s humbling. And, strangely, it’s healing.
So here’s my advice: pick up the brush, the pen, the instrument. Sing off-key. Miss a step. Let it be gloriously imperfect.
Your reset doesn’t have to look tidy — it just has to be yours.