Skipping Your Anchors, This Is Why Nothing Sticks
If you read part one, you will know we are diving deeper today into what a gentle reset really looks like. How to turn an idyllic sounding notion into something achievable and sustainable that actually works for you.
Interestingly, the methods we have tried earlier in life are a big part of why we believe everything has to change in order to see results. But there lies the first misconception I want you to challenge.
Why We Struggle to Keep Promises to Ourselves
We make promises to our loved ones, and there is something sacred in that, something that urges us to keep our word. Yet for some reason, a promise to ourselves seems to hold less weight, less responsibility. But why?
This is the first hurdle we fall at again and again.
When you break small promises to yourself, you begin to lose trust in yourself. You set yourself up for failure without even realising it. You start to prove that you are not a person of your word. Because when you say you are going all in on something new, who is there to hold you accountable? You have made these promises before, and backed out a few days later, with no real consequence.
The Perfect Time Does Not Exist
Life will always be unpredictable. It will throw curveballs forever. So when is the perfect time to start?
I’ll let you in on a secret here. It is not coming.
There will always be another excuse, an event, a new week, a big deadline to prioritise.
So the best time to start, is now. But with the understanding that it will not be perfect every day. That would be unrealistic. Sticking to an 80/20 mindset is more than enough. Life should always be for living and enjoying, however that becomes a lot simpler when you work on your anchors, your non-negotiables.
Have a contingency plan in place for when life gets busy. A way of lowering expectations, without throwing in the towel at the first opportunity. You have planned for this. You are prepared. Not derailed.
What Are Your Anchors?
So how do you actually do that?
Anchor One: Your Why (The Mental Anchor)
First up; You need a why. A deeper reason behind the goal. Aesthetics are fine, but quite a generic answer, that doesn’t hold much true depth, so, go beyond and ask yourself, why does that really matter to you? What sits underneath that desire?
Is it confidence? Is it breaking a pattern you have seen before? Perhaps an unhealthy parent who you witnessed missing out, and you do not want to follow that same path. Is that where you are heading if nothing changes?
Once you bring that to the forefront of your mind, everything else becomes simpler. That is your first anchor. The mental anchor. It always comes back to why this matters.
Anchor Two: Your Physical Habits
Nutrition
Depending on your goals, this might be your nutrition. Creating regular, balanced meals. Moving away from a binge and restrict cycle. Reducing processed foods or alcohol.
Movement
Or perhaps your focus is movement. Regular, consistent exercise in a way you actually enjoy long term. Not something you dread. Maybe you love walking, dancing, or playing a team sport. Whatever it is, implement it and stick with it. Until it becomes part of who you are, not just ‘something you do’.
Therefore, it cannot be driven by calorie burn alone. That mindset will not last, it feels like punishment. We need to shift the perspective to something you get to do, something you enjoy.
Anchor Three: Your Nervous System
And then there is your nervous system. Without support from a calm and regulated nervous system, none of this will create lasting change.
This can be as simple as mindful moments in places you would normally rush. Slowing down, pausing, allowing your body to catch up before moving on to the next task. Fresh air, natural sunlight, stillness. These are not luxuries, they are essential. As humans these are what we are built to need.
We have simply become more disconnected from them as modern life has become faster and more convenient.
This Is Not About Adding More
To be clear this is not about adding more tasks. We are building a flexible scale of habits that we can dial up or down depending on what life is throwing at us.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
So what does that look like in real life?
Maybe your plan is to walk for sixty minutes a day, play padel three times a week, and cook at home every night. Sounds great! Then life happens, the perfect moment to fall back into old patterns.
But this is where your ‘why anchor’ comes into play and holds you steady.
Instead of abandoning everything and telling yourself next week will be better, because realistically, is there ever a perfectly quiet week? No, you pause and reassess.
What are my non negotiables? What can I dial down right now?
Maybe that looks like thirty minutes of walking instead of sixty. Two padel sessions instead of three. Home cooked meals during the week, and flexibility at the weekend with social plans.
Great! You are still showing up. The habits are still in place. They still have a role in your life, just in a more flexible way.
Dial Up, Dial Down
And when life settles, you dial things back up again. No guilt. No all or nothing spiral. No feeling like you have ruined everything.
Remember long term health is not built in one perfect day. And it is not undone by one imperfect one.
But coming back to your anchors keeps you grounded. It keeps you accountable. And it reminds you that consistency will always beat intensity.
Before Part Three
So before we go any further, before we move into part three, I want you to bring this into your real life.
Take a moment to ask yourself, what is your mental anchor? Write it down. This matters.
Then decide on your non-negotiables before the week begins. The core actions you can commit to and actually enjoy.
Stick to them. Remember, the dial is always there when life shifts, but consistency is what carries you forward.
I will see you for part 3.
Want to see more of Harriot
Your Body Isn’t Failing — Stop Treating It Like It Is
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